


Déjà Brew

by perniciousLizard



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bad Jokes, F/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8540236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perniciousLizard/pseuds/perniciousLizard
Summary: A coffeeshop opens in Snowdin.  Sans gets a job there, and he meets a customer with a caffeine addiction and a love for bad coffee jokes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I kept forgetting to move this over here.  
> Prompt: **soriel, romantic or platonic, coffeeshop setting with sans as the lazy hipster bartender.**  
>  Thank you [celelorien](http://celelorien.tumblr.com/) for the prompt!

**how did the hipster burn his tongue? _b_ _ecause he drank his coffee before it was cool._**

 

Sans stepped back and read over the day’s joke.  He couldn’t help but chuckle at it again.  Adding a joke on top of the day’s specials had been a great idea on his part, even if when his coworkers showed up later in the day one of ‘em would always take it upon themselves to erase it.  

He was actually pretty grateful they did that.  If they didn’t, he might’ve just left the previous day’s joke up, but they made it so he had to find something new every day.  

Opening a place in Snowdin that sold hot coffee had been his boss' big stroke of genius.  Some of the teens that loitered out in the woods started spending more time in town.  They had a place to be independent and complain about their parents indoors.  Sans liked that it paid well and the town was small enough that he could slack off.  

He settled in behind the counter and zoned out.  He started to doze off standing there, but was aware enough to notice when the door opened and someone came in.  Maybe they would see him sleeping and head out again.  

Instead, he heard them walk over to read the board.  Everything was quiet, and then a loud burst of laughter woke him so abruptly he fell backwards onto the floor.

“Oh my goodness!  Are you all right?”  

Sans rubbed the back of his skull and looked up.  A monster was leaning over the counter, peering down at him.  She radiated concern.  

“I am a healer, if you are injured in some way,” she said.  

“uh, it's just my pride,” he said, laughing.  He got up and she was still towering over him.  He didn’t see enormous goat monsters every day, in Snowdin.  Or strangers at all, really.  

“I am afraid that only time can heal that wound,” she said.  "I am very sorry.  I was not expecting to read such a funny joke, and I startled you."

"you like that?” Sans asked.  "hey, since you knocked me down, that means you have to hear a knock-knock joke."

"Oh?”

“knock knock.”  

“Who is there?”

“scold.”

“Scold who?”

“s'cold outside.  so i bet you want some hot coffee.  what’s your order?”

She burst out laughing again.  This time he could see the pure delight in her expression.  "Oh my.  You will need to give me a minute. The menu has changed since the last time I was here.  And the employees, as well." 

"yeah, i’ve only been working here a couple months.”  So he was the _actual_ stranger.  She just didn’t come in often.  He was surprised he had never noticed her around town.  She was striking.  

“Oh!  I just thought of a joke!  I know that yours was a _pun_ -ishment, but would you be angry if I told you one as well?”

“go for it.”  

“All right.  So, a monster went to see the healer, and he said 'whenever I drink coffee, I feel this sharp pain in my eye.  The healer said to him, 'you must remember to remove the spoon before you drink it!’”

Sans had to laugh at that one.  It was awful.  He loved it.  "nice."

She ordered her coffee and, unfortunately, took it with her and left.  He wondered if he would see her around again.  He didn’t even have any idea what her name was.  

–

**deja brew: _the feeling that you’ve had this coffee before_**

 

Two months later, Sans was working (napping) in the back room when a loud, familiar laugh almost threw him out of his chair.  He went out to greet his customer.  

"Sans!” she said, reading his name off his tag, “I liked the other one better, but I also enjoyed this one.”  

“thanks.  thanks a _latte_.”  He waited, smiling, until she finished laughing.  "been a while, uh…"

"Toriel,” she said.  "I am afraid my responsibilities only allow me to leave on rare occasions."

"shame.”

“So you could say…I have _bean_ busy.”  

He loved it.  "well, what do you want?  why don’t you give something new a _shot_."

"Oh! I get it!”  

He loved her laugh.  

“I am sorry if I sounded like I was complaining about my duties.  You are here to listen to a different ’ _pour me_!’”  

There were tears in his eyes.  

–

**they say bad coffee is _grounds_ for divorce**

 

“It really is!” Toriel said, laughing.  It wasn’t with her usual vigor, but Sans figured the joke might not be good enough to deserve her regular enthusiasm.  

Sans was slowly getting something for another customer, so he couldn’t say hello to her right away.  She waited in line, subdued.  

He tried a few jokes on her.  She did laugh at first, but eventually fell silent.  

“uh.  bad day?”

“Sans,” she said.  "I am afraid this will be the last time I can come here."

"what’s up?  sudden coffee allergy?”

“No.  There was a monster I trusted to take over my work for me, for a little while.  But, last time I returned and they were not doing what I asked of them.  I should not even be here now, but I wanted to say goodbye to you and tell the shopkeeper I would no longer be needing her to order snails for me.”  

“oh.”  She was just a customer, sure, but he felt genuine disappointment.  He didn’t meet monsters like her very often – monsters who sincerely loved bad jokes with all their hearts.  "sorry, tori.  hey, what about delivery?  i could drop something off for you."  It was extra work, but he didn’t think he’d mind.

"I am afraid I live very far from here,” she said.  "Deep in the woods."

"well, it depends on where it is.  i know some shortcuts out there.”  

“…by the Ruins.”

Did she mean “in the Ruins?”  He knew the huge door, but he thought it was kept locked.  If he lost his job here, Papyrus would probably make him do sentry work again.  "i don’t mind going out there."

She shook her head.  "I am sorry, Sans.  It was…nice to meet someone like you.”  

He thought about asking her for her number, but he figured he’d just get shot down again.  This was a clear forever goodbye.  "welp.  we barely met, but it was nice."

She shook his hand, and then ordered her last coffee.  He was pretty sure the drink was what she was really going to miss.  

–

The huge door in the woods was as closed and locked as he remembered. Sans wasn’t sure why he was out there.  Maybe there was a lingering curiosity about Toriel, even months after she had said goodbye.  

He tucked the cup of coffee into his coat and knocked on the door.  No answer.  Well, he was there anyway, so he practiced a few knock knock jokes.  

After a few minutes, he heard a very familiar, "Who is there?”

“dishes.”

“Dishes who?”

“dishes a very bad joke.”  

She howled with laughter.  


End file.
